Veterans Day

Today, I had lunch at Texas Roadhouse with my soon-to-be husband. They were serving a free meal to any veteran, which happens to include him. When I walked in, I looked around, trying to find him. I saw some men in uniform. In fact, I instinctively almost went to the table in front of his because a man in uniform was sitting there. At the last minute, I realized it wasn't him, remembered that it was his day off and saw him at the next table.

When we were finished with our meals, our server thanked him for his service. He thanked her. Every time someone does that, it opens this place in my heart even wider. It's hard to describe, but it's an intense feeling of pride, understanding of sacrifice, and - honestly - a little bit of fear mixed in. 

I did not know him during the two and a half years he spent in Iraq on combat deployments. Or his earlier deployments in the Marines. I can't imagine the feelings he had leaving the people he loves for so long. I can't imagine the feelings of those at home, waiting for him to return. Praying it would be a safe return. I can't imagine those feelings. I may have to someday. And, if so, I will. I knew from our first date the possibilities from dating and, perhaps, marrying him. There are challenges in this military life - even without deployments. But there is no life without him I would ever choose. He is my heart and soul.

As we left, 4 older men passed us, proudly wearing their veterans hats, walking slowly with canes. I smiled at each one of them, looking them right in the eyes. They reminded me of my grandpa. They each smiled back. The last one said hello. I wish I had thanked them. I always wish I would say more than I do. What can any of us say that really expresses what we should to these men and women? Never enough.

When we got outside, I told my fiancée that I thought those older veterans with their hats were so cute. He said one day, that would probably be him. I agreed. And smiled. And slipped my hand around his arm, walking back to our cars in the first snowfall of the year. I tried to picture us leaving a free veterans meal 30 years from today. And that place in my heart opened more. I love this life. And I love my veteran. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything you do for me, for us, for those you love, and for those you don't even know. You will always be my hero.